Ups and Downs

          I know I have honestly neglected many things as far as the blogging goes. Things were really starting to perk up, though I noticed that as they perked up, more and more of my time wound up monopolized in a sense. I gave my all to another part of my life, and continued to try for that part of my life, even after things started getting to a more bitter place. Because of the things going on, I became slightly more depressed, slowly losing interest in the things that had been keeping me going. I refused to give up on the HRT. I will not back down that far, though as depression tends to rise, my own self resolve tends to sink. Things came crashing down on me after a rather brief moment of true and utter bliss. I believed I had been graced and blessed. It was not so however. It was meant as a lesson I now believe, just as other moments in my life seem to be crashing and I believe them to be lessons as well. I will not allow the anger to resurface the way it used to. After watching so many good and bad things crawl through my life, I have decided to truly push myself that I may get back here to actually post the things I would like to post. I actually have another picture I will be posting, though not of a photographic record of my transition. Instead I will be posting a picture of something I intend to buy. I have worn mostly rather girly clothes since just before I started this journey, however in all honesty, I was never the type to be quite that girly. While I do have a strong feminine side, I also have extreme affinity for the darkness. Horror. Things one would experience in their mind during a traumatic depression experience. Because of this, I always found things such as spiked collars, and chain, or spiked bracelets to be attractive. I used to dress more that way now and then, though as the man I was born to be (yuck) I would not actually settle on a style. Most of this was my own insecurity within my own skin. Now that I am so much more secure, I am ready to let more of my darkness and odd attractions to come to life. I am going to be the woman Rachyl was meant to be. I only wish I had let her out sooner. As for the HRT, things are going very smoothly. I am still doing well, and have much more femininity to show. :-)